“Will you marry me?”

After what seemed like a lifetime (although in reality was about five seconds) she said, “yes.”

A couple of weeks ago I proposed to my girlfriend and despite the few awkward seconds before she replied, I was confident that this offer would be accepted because of the very thorough recruitment process I carried out:

Referrals: We were introduced by a third party (some friends at a barbecue). This was important as I was also able to speak to them to get references and background checks.

The vacancy: I was not actively looking to recruit when I met my future fiancée, I was quite happy to be single. However I was open to introductions and if someone came along who met my strict criteria then I was happy to create a vacancy.

Initial screening: As part of my initial due diligence I had to ensure that there was nothing that would immediately disqualify the candidate, eg the possession of a wedding ring, criminal record or Man United season ticket.

Tell the truth: On the first meeting with this woman, I did not tell her my deepest, darkest secrets (I am an Arsenal fan and have every Clash album ever produced).  I decided to be discrete at our first meeting but it was important that I did not lie about these things either. If I had claimed to support a team that that actually wins trophies or that I was cool then she would have soon seen through these lies at a later stage and I would have lost all credibility.

Is the candidate qualified? There are certain important qualifications in any potential wife. For me, it was someone cute, intelligent and fun to be with. If during our first meeting I realized that she wasn’t qualified, then I would have had a duty as an interviewer to firmly but politely reject her at the first opportunity.

Two-way process: Whilst I was meeting up with the candidate, I was aware that not only was I interviewing her for the position but that she would also be conducting her own assessment. It is not a one way process. If I had decided on the interview technique of making the candidate feel nervous, then not only would she have not continued with the interview process but the brand ‘Damian Rhodes’ would have been in ruins.

Manage expectations: If at any time during the selection process I had claimed to speak fluent Cantonese then she would soon be disappointed when the conversation moved away from, ‘you are beautiful’, ‘where is the MTR?’ and ‘turn left please’. It is very important that neither the recruiter nor the candidate exaggerates or over-sells in any way.

Regular contact: During this recruitment process we stayed in regular contact: this is about balance – too many calls or emails can be off  putting too.

Intuition: An important part of recruitment comes down to intuition – will I wish to spend a lot of my time with this person?  Synergies in terms of attitude, ethics and values cannot be gleaned from a CV alone.

Offer and acceptance: Before making the offer, I ensured that I had carried out my research, had sufficient meetings with the candidate, built up strong rapport and therefore was confident of the outcome.

All we need to do now is agree on the start date.

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